I watched as their eyes glazed over. Even my
animated, energetic, and at times silly, approach to teaching couldn’t save this one. I was losing my students, and on such an important issue too…Bullying!
From time to time, we educators get these “ready-made” lessons to impart to our homeroom classes. These lessons come from on high, lack creativity, rarely work in the trenches, usually get to teachers last minute and are always mandatory.
At my middle school, all students are getting their personal Chrome Books and in preparation for the big day, teachers (and reasonably so) have been asked to educate students on computer-related safety topics.
“Today we are going to talk about Cyberbullying!” I told them. As I forged into my scripted scenario about David calling Jose mean names on the Internet, I could just feel my students sinking into an abyss of boredom. I personally know from teacher meetings that once this descent begins, climbing out is a near impossibility. I had to think fast! I mean, as a dad, a parent, this stuff is important; like our number one biggest fear (make that one of our number one biggest fears). They had to feel this from within.
Quickly I made my way to my computer, fired up the smart board (please work, please work…) and typed “the bully effect” into the YouTube search bar.
Before we knew it, we were all stuck fast to the story of Alex Libby, bully-victim turned activist. Lee Hirsch’s 2013 documentary follows Alex through some disturbing moments of bullying (hard to watch those bus scenes). Our class watched in total silence as Alex pitifully tried to fend off his attackers. "You're my buddy," Alex would say through his faux smile as his body shook from more punches. He was powerless. His parents made ever more powerless by a school administrator too lazy to do the real work it takes to make it stop.
My students were mad, really mad. Somehow seeing the raw school bus video of bullies and bystanders in action really hit a nerve. It didn't help to see adults in supposed positions to help attempt to place band-aids on serious heartache. Emotions in room A340 were nearing a boiling point. No acting job in any of those dramatized public service announcements could achieve this level of compassion. They wanted so badly to help. “If I could jump through this screen and on to that bus, I would…” said one. “I’d sit next to that bully every day, I wish he would…” another said. “There’s something wrong with that bully, someone needs to snatch him by the…” Oops, that was me. Empathy was in full effect.
We watched in horror as an administrator attempted the “shake hands and its fixed” approach. Laughable if it wasn’t so doggone sad. That quick-fix technique has never been effective, yet plays out every day in schools everywhere.
My student’s knitted eyebrows began to relax and open mouths curved into smiles as Alex told his story to a cheering crowd at an anti-bullying rally. He’d won. The bullies had lost. Alex is powerless no more; he's a respected leader in the anti-bully movement!
As my balled up scripted lesson silently arched its way into the recycling bin, I listened to my students just talk and express their feelings. SWISH! And the lesson? Morphing from airball into a slam dunk.
The class consensus was that if more of us get a chance to feel the pinching discomfort of walking in the victim's shoes, we will learn to feel compassion and curb our own behaviors. Not one among us wanted to ever appear to be the person that bully was (is?) in the documentary.
I allowed my students to get mad, I couldn't help it, I was mad! Anger can be a motivator. A force capable of moving us from fearful to fearless, from inaction to action. It's an emotion that can actually lead us to care.
My class got it, I got it. The answer comes from within. To make bullying end, rather the "cyber" kind or the in-your-face type, we all have to feel, we all have to speak. Parents, teachers, students, custodians, coaches, counselors, principals, everyone! Strength in numbers! The bully must know they are vastly outnumbered and completely surrounded; they must become the ones who feel awkward and out-of-step.
Each one of us needs to go forth and make this message multiply. We can no longer rely on ever tolerant, Zero Tolerance school policy. This one we fix ourselves, together, never alone. Spread the word.
Want to get mad, to make others happy?
Check out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d1_ZKlLR98